Top Ten Twitter Reactions to Tiger Woods Statement

1. Jason Linkins: “Tiger is totally slamming Brit Hume right now! Thanking Buddhism! And ACCENTURE! The most BUDDHIST accounting firm! #eyeoftheTIGER”

2. Andy Borowitz: “Tiger’s presser will only last 5 minutes, leaving many women saying, ‘That’s it?’”

3. pourmecoffee: “Tiger: ‘Yes, I had more tail than a brontosaurus, but like the brontosaurus — that Tiger is now extinct.’”

4. Esquire magazine: “Would it have killed Tiger to wear a tie?”

5. Jonathan Wald: “Tiger Woods sees shadow, six more weeks of rehab.”

6. Chuck Todd: “So was that an ‘address to the nation’? Is there an official response? Who would do it?”

7. Mark Knoller: “Unless the WH or Obama comments on Tiger Woods, this is now a TW-free site.”

8. Ben Domenech: “The lesson Tiger has taught all kids who aspire for athletic greatness is: be like Jeter and never get married.”

9. Seth Meyers: “To come out of this scandal and still be named valedictorian is an amazing accomplishment for Tiger.”

10. Bill McCandless: “back to work america…”